Hello

Dropping in for a quick hello. It's been awhile since I've posted. I'm in about the same "shape" as I was before; however, I have been on a few adventures since my last post. I hope to share them w/ you soon :)

Live Long and Prosper

Today, for the very 1st time, I watched episode one of Star Trek: The Original Series.  I've kind of seen Star Trek before; I've seen the most recent movie. However, I've never actually really sat down and paid attention to it. The only one I vaguely remember is Trouble with Tribbles.

          As I watched, I found myself highly intrigued and wondering how much of the special effects looked high tech back in the day. I mean, their radios looked like the equivalent to our cell phones today. I also found myself listening for words and phrases I've heard in movies/TV that I know came from Star Trek. 

   

        It reminds me of when I watched The X-Files growing up and how much I loved it. 

        Finally, I am embracing a cult classic to which I was seldom exposed. My childhood mainly consisted of old school horror like Freddy and Jason, old school westerns, 80's 'n  90's American cartoons, and action movies. 

Even so, there's no time like the present to play catch up.

Believe me, I've a great deal of it left.

Image Credits from Google Images using the following searches

Star Trek The Original Series

&

Star Trek The Man Trap 

Morning

I'm on day shift now and have to get up way too early to be there by 6 am. I would so rather be snuggled up in bed right now :)

Broken Record

I'm starting to feel like a broken record. I don't even feel like I'm trying any more. I feel like each decision I make about food keeps getting worse. It's like I see it or think about it. Then I think about how it would taste and then I want it super bad. I also don't hold my self back or anything of that nature. I just don't know what to tell myself anymore to make me not want it. It's just so hard to say no when it's more convenient to have than it is not to have it.

Soda

Made it through work today without going out to buy food. However, I did drink some Coke and Pepsi today. For me, it is going to be a fight for me with every meal and snack. It's so unhealthy but I can't help but choose it over water. Granted, I'm still drinking my fair share of water :)

Sleep

Well, today I indulged in a Sprite on Sat. evening and bought a meat ball and marinara sub from Sheets after midnight. Though, it's like almost 4 in the morning and I'm wide awake. I guess I really shouldn't sleep until almost 3 in the afternoon. Granted I didn't go to sleep until almost 5 am the night before. Oh well, I just wanted to drop in and become accountable for my actions :) Now I just gotta find sleep.

With that being said, I seriously dread my day shift coming up in the next few weeks. I will be working from 6 am until 4 pm. It will be a bear to get used to getting up so dang early. I really do dread it :(

Back on The Wagon

For the last couple of months, I have been drinking soda steadily and have seriously increased my fast food habits. The last two days I have enjoyed many unhealthy freedoms and tomorrow I will begin again what I started back in March. I completely understand how going back to old choices changes you back so quickly. In approximately a month and a half, I have gained back around 6 pounds and I feel every bit of it. Now, I only plan to make daily goals of making my own food and continuing to drink water. I think I'm also going to start walking 20 minutes a day, if I am lucky :)

Photo taken at my friends wedding on May 7, 2011

Boys Before Flowers

From Left to Right: Kim Joon, Lee Min Ho, Ku Hye Sun, Kim Hyun Joong, and Kim Sang Bum

Quite awhile now, my friends have been trying to talk me into watching Korean Dramas, and I even watched a few episodes of one. This one; however, stole my heart. I've watched it religiously for about two weeks now, but I warn you it is an emotional roller coaster. These characters have made me smile and giggle so much and have even brought tears a few times. I took each scene in and let myself live in the moment with characters Song Woo Bin , Goo Jun Pyo, Geum Jan Di, Yoon Ji Hoo, and So Yi Jung (Character names in pic. from left to right). The actors portrayed the characters so well and they were so adorable. There is no way for me to decide which one I loved the most :)

This show sparked my interest when I saw a preview about bully and his friends in a high school and a girl who sees him for what he is and calls him out. Needless to say, it was on and it doesn't stop. Since I have watched this drama, Boys Before Flowers (also seen as Boys over Flowers), I look forward to watching more Korean Dramas. One of my friends says many have similar themes, which I hope to notice as I watch and learn more. My interest in being able to understand Korean is a little stronger too. I should actually know more than two words of it, but I regret not becoming more involved in the culture of a couple of my roommates when I lived in the dorms in college. They were Korean and it was a lot of fun getting to know them. I remember for one of my birthdays, one of them had a mini birthday celebration with me and her friends. She gave me a small glass with Korean written on it and a few Korean coins. Yeah, I really do regret learning only hello and good night. :( Time will only tell as to whether or not I learn more :)

Granted, it is like 4 am as I write this. Even so have a wonderful night :) 

Jal Ja! 

Photo taken from website : http://www.mysoju.com/korean-drama/boys-before-flowers/

Food for Thought

Honestly, the word change: only one syllable, yet so many effects, good or bad. It happens whether we choose it and whether or not we feel in control of it. It's something you just have to learn to roll with the punches and adapt. I tell myself I want to change and live according to the consequences of my actions, but my actions as it relates to food are the opposite of how I've always made my decisions. I've always made my choices because I did not want certain things to happen to me and it has worked out so far. However, with food, I know certain things are bad, but I always choose them because I want them. My emotions always prevail it seems. Even so, I know one's choice of food determines many consequences of one's body and a person only has one body in their given lifetime. Then how, I ask myself, is it so difficult for me to make a decision that negatively affects the one thing I have and can never fully replace?

"It's easier to move rivers and mountains than it is to change...

a person's basic nature" 

If only this unknown author knew how right he/she was. I've been attempting to change my habits for almost four monthes and all I have honestly been able to do is become more aware of how unhealthy my decisions have been for my body and mind. As of now, I believe I am essentially back to square one. In this last week alone, I have gained back at least 4 pounds of the 15 I managed to lose since March. I've taken back to drinking soda more regularly and taking in fast food. It's like I hurt myself, and I fall for my comfort foods, plus with a hurting back, a person really doesn't feel like cooking. However, my back is feeling much better and from this point on, I plan to learn from the mistakes I've made here recently. I have seen such a quick change in how I feel about my body, it scares me. Like, I can now distinguish the difference between how I feel when I eat poorly (usually emotionally based eating) and when I cook something and proportion it out to myself. Behavior change is not the easiest, it just takes a lot of inner coaching :) Wish me luck....again.... :) My roommate is always amused at my continuous efforts to change and how I attempt to get people I know to some how assist me in the efforts. I just smiled as she said this and told her what my mother has always told me..."Your help is at the end of your elbows" 

Trials and Pain

Well, I attempted to get some exercise this week, and now my lower back is having problems. I may have over extended myself or may have not stretched enough before and after. Who knows? Though I'm taking it easy now, I hope it will not become a common occurrance. It's not super bad, I just feel a slight pain in my lower back regardless of what I do. Even with the aches and pains, I accomplished walking/slight jogging between 3 to 4 miles. I even made it out to swim :) Hopefully my next blog will be me in less pain. Take care :)

Ska's New Shop

I just put a new post on my friends list. It's called Christine's Antiquity and Crafts Shop . 

If you see anything you like, please feel free to contact her. 

The items she has posted are very beautiful, as you can see in the above photograph. 

awhile

It's been awhile since I've been on here. I've had so many adventures :) 

I had a great time visiting my friend and her family. She married her fiance on May 7 and it was an awesome outside garden party wedding.

A few days off work was equally as wonderful. But alas, I'm back and ready for the new adventure of a hard core steady workout. 

I've been trying/attempting since March and still can't get into the habit. 

However of a more positive note, I have managed to decrease the soda intake.

Once again, I now have the priority of eliminating fast food and sugary sweets. My main goal is to eliminate it to the point of only dining out once a month at a nice place. So far, since last Tue. I've eaten fast food twice. If I manage to conquer eating out, I will consider managing the sweets more effectively.

Also, I'm guessing you've figured out the next main goal: 

the fast food's arched nemesis----- making my lunch and cooking at home!!!! 

I know I've got my work cut out for me, 

but I know I will benefit tremendously from it.

super bad

This week is my last week of easy going freedom. I found a soda in the apartment that had belonged to me and drank it with my pasta. My work schedule changed so I also fell back into some of my old habits, like going to eat Mexican w/  my roommate late at night. Anyways, with the exception of this weekend, my goal is to continue to stay away from the pop until after my friends wedding. However, after the wedding, I am going to get stricter on my eating out and continue to focus on not drinking soda. I'm bad about buying food on my way to work and it is adding up to buku bucks. My roommate and I are going to tag team this fight by not eating out for a week and then going somewhere nice to eat, like Olive Garden. It's not much, but I feel like it's something to get me started saving money from going down the fast food hole.

The Great To Do

It's almost time to leave to visit one of my bestest friends. She is getting married next weekend and I have so much to do before I leave to visit her. Thankfully, I am off today and will be able to get things ready before I have to work this week. So, needless to say, I will be busy, busy, busy :)

New Results

 My assessment went well. Since I've attempted to stop drinking soda (granted I've cheated a few times), I have lost 2 inches on my waist, hips, and chest. :) There are a few other details, but this is the one I love the most :) Though, as I kind of already knew, my abdomen is the largest, which is not very good for my health now and future health. According to the numbers, my abdomen is 1/4 of an inch smaller than my hips :) I don't mind. I'm learning to love my body shape. I may be getting smaller, but my shape will always remain. 

 

hit and miss

 Gotta love Thomas Cat

 I feel like I've been hit and miss with my blog here recently. I've enjoyed myself though. Spent some time my friend who has been in Australia, her sister, and her mother. We went swimming where they stayed and she took a pic of me looking super slim in my bathing suit. I will post it as soon as I can get it from her :) . Also, I now have a physical assessment planned this week. I will be excited to get a baseline for where I am now. I know it's still up there even after losing what I've lost :) I'll be happy to just get results so I can focus more in the months to come. Soon, I will be changing shifts so I will have a new eating pattern to adjust to. Though, this shift works best with my body and sleeping routine :) I'm getting very tired at the moment, so I guess I'll go. :(

 

 

 

 

 

 This weekend has been rather blah as far as motivation is concerned.
However, I did manage to clean a little and put up a new shower curtain :)

Dogwood Blossoms

Sweet Drinks

Haven't been too disciplined this week. I had Wendy's Sunday night. I had the spicy chicken sandwich, a salad w/ ranch dressing and a root beer. Though, I am pleased to admit that the root beer wasn't all that great. I really don't care if I get it again as a fountain drink. Also, I had a super heavy Tudor's breakfast this morning. I ate just enough to fill me up and I already had a Simply Apple Juice, not from concentrate. Once again, the juice was sooo sweet in taste. I think my taste buds are actually adapting to not drinking the soda I used to :)

update

I just weighed myself on a wii fit. Even with my slip ups on soda, I have lost approximately 15lbs. Woot!!! This gives me motivation to keep hanging in there. Also, I went to the rec center I joined. It wasn't today, but Thursday night. I spent about 2.5 hours or so getting used to the place. I toyed with the assisted dip & pull up machine and finished off with 30 minutes on a bike set on fat burning :)

new plan

Alas, I drank soda this week. last week I had a diet Sunkist and a diet root-beer. last night I had a regular fountain drink. Now I must truly start over. :) Oh well, try and try again :)

Spring Cleaning... an understatement ;)

Thomas Cat

I've been hanging out at home today with one of my friends. She's been my moral support/idea bringer during my attempts to go through my room. I've been attempting to make conscious thoughtful decisions with my stuff. My overall goal is to increase more open space in my room and for it to be completely organized. Now and in the future, I want to be able to be able to remove the things in my life that bring me frustration and very little joy :)

My tiger ears I love to wear when I clean. 

I'm very pleased with my overall accomplishments in my room 

and it inspires me to push forward to get the rest of it done.

To be or not to be... incompetent

Sometimes I hate it when I think people think I'm some form of incompetent. I mean, why should I care? I have nothing to prove to them. I also hate it when people have issues with me and the issue doesn't really originate with my actions solely but the actions of others.

I despise the term vicarious liability. It pisses me off more than I can put into words. I have always chosen my actions based on the consequences and when I receive consequences as a result of others actions and some of my own, it seriously pisses me off badly. Also, it's especially worse when I am not even a supervisor. GRRRR.

Granted, I now know how adults sometimes treat the oldest child they have and I now completely understand why they get to the point where they do not care about their actions and the consequences.

Maybe it's a cop-out for not wanting to be responsible, but seriously I hate it all. I am responsible for me and that is it!!!! If this is what being responsible for others is, I want no part of it. I still don't want kids and after this week, I want  nothing to do with it!

Letting Go

All photos taken by my friend Gael in May 2010 where we grew up.

I'm doing well. I had a frustrating morning at work today, but I jogged a little b4 it got the best of me. Aside from being tired, I think the jog allowed me to process the aggravations a little better (at least that's what I'm telling myself). My job does not require me to take it home but I get so frustrated with it and then I talk about it with other people, which leads to me thinking about it and staying frustrated. It's hard for me to just turn it off and go on with my own priorities. 

 I try not to care but it's really hard to let things go. 

Also, I'm recognizing just how much these frustrations make me want to turn to food for comfort. Last night I was aggravated and I had enough money for one drink. I chose a diet Sunkist. Granted I only drank half of it and really didn't like the taste, it was my decision to choose it over water. I could have bought water, but went back to my way of thinking about being at work and wanting something to make me happy because I was there. This evening, I was still dealing with those aggravations and I found myself thinking about how much I wanted a soda, esp a ginger ale. 

I have too much of a life ahead of me to keep letting these issues determine how I fuel my body.

I mean, I made it two weeks and now I've had half of a soda I didn't really like, and, now, this evening I found myself wanting the regular sodas with my meal. It's time to get super serious about this cutting back and killing calories by exercise.  

I've been letting my mind slowly build up to this transition because I know, in my heart, I want this to be a lifestyle change that I maintain for a very long time. 

While I have gained many skills from this job, I feel like it  has essentially limited me from utilizing my fullest potential. I'm sick of it. I'm attempting to maintain the belief that letting go of the me I've become in the last 3 years will open up doors to a life in which I want to participate.

 

And I will achieve it.

No Excuses

 

!!! I LOVE ME !!!

PHOTO TAKEN WHILE IN GEORGIA WITH FRIENDS

SEPTEMBER 18 2010

Made it out of bed again at around 3:30, and was able to spend the afternoon playing on the internet. I believe I've found a workout that may suit my needs. I still have to check it out in a little more detail, but I think I'm going to like it :)

Also, before I went to bed this morning, I was able to straighten up a few things in my room, something  I never usually do b4 going to bed :)

GO ME !!!

The Park

It was approximately 4:30 and a work day. I woke up at about 3 pm: a record best for me!!!

My immediate goal was to go walking/jogging within the next 2.5 hours .  

And the good news is I was out the door @  5pm and made it back by a little after 6pm 

Not from today, but taken when the OH River was up.

 

Went to the park for a walk/jog.

I had my iPod shuffle I've not used in at least 3 years.

The 45 degree chill and bright sunshine was perfect for wearing a sweater. 

I saw a squirrel with a piece of wood in his paws and two ducks in the creek. It was amusing.

I could not have asked for a more relaxing afternoon..

Especially on a work night.

Awesome Day

I am very pleased with my day :) I got to talk to 5 of my closest friends, and then was able to go to the RaqStars Bellydance Showcase and watch some amazing dancers.... soooo awesome.....and then when I got home, my roommate had made chili....so delic. we chowed down and watched some old school anime!!

     taken tonight

On an even happier note, I was able to put many of my cloths away and my closet is organized and ready for more.

Plan the Work....Work the Plan

My goal for this week is to create a better environment in my room that will save me effort and time in looking for stuff. After it is completed, I will focus solely on maintaining this level of organization. As a result, I will feel more confident, organized, and relaxed in my home environment. It will also allow me to focus more on my goals for living healthier and provide the motivation to organize other areas in my life.

My objectives in achieving this are as follows:

• Before the end of the day, my cloths and shoes will be put away. To achieve this I will focus on it from noon until 1600.
• Two days from now (Monday night), the items on at least one of my shelves will be organized. To achieve this I will focus on it for a minimum of 1 hour each day for the next three days!

!!!  Now time for some good music to kick things off!!!

Today, I joined a gym. It's not a contract and I don't have to drive to get there !!!

And I had only one piece of pizza for lunch and a delicious salad for dinner :)

Yum!

Twice in two days, I have made steel cut oats for breakfast and ate them plain. This morning I added green tea with white tea as my drink, and I only used 1/2 tsp of sugar!!!!

However, I must admit I ate the most delicious pizza last night. I realize now that I should have stopped at one piece, but it was so good. I loved it, but felt a little overstuffed before the end of the night. I am glad I ate the pizza. My roommate and I ordered it and then watched the latest Sherlock Holmes movie :)

Brand New Day

I am happy to report that it is my first day off from work and I only slept 3.5 hours after coming home this morning. I actually got out of bed, and upon turning the alarm off, I went to the living room and lounged for an hour. I am now currently having a breakfast of oatmeal with dried fruit and nuts mixed in. :)

Photo taken while at the Ohio Renaissance Fair, approximately 2007

Struggles and Highlights

Haven't quite established a workout routine yet. It's so hard to figure out when is the best time to work out on the days I work. It's just that I don't want to think about anything but sleeping and work on those days. Anything else feels like it cuts into my rest time :(

On the bright side, I've still not had a soda :)

Also, today I have managed to wash all of my dishes, wipe the counter down, and wash the microwave plate. I've also taken out the garbage. :) Oh yeah, my load of laundry is finished. I slept all of yesterday and was still a little awake when I came home this morning. :) Now it's 1:00 pm and I am ready for sleep :) ... only one more night of work left !!!

What makes this so awesome is that now everything in the kitchen is clean except for a few other things, very minor in detail :) I'm very pleased at the moment and can sleep well knowing that I do not have to spend my days off dreading laundry or mustering up the motivation to clean the kitchen the way I've been wanting too !!! :)

In a matter of 4 hours I knocked the kitchen sink and counter out of the ball park!!!!

Photo above: one of my nieces at her softball game April 2010

One Week

I've officially made it one week without soda. I'm very pleased with myself.
I ate 4 chocolate Hershey's kisses during work last night and I have to honestly say, it did not meet my taste buds' expectations. I even left the rest of the bag in the break room for my coworkers.

Also, I've decided for this weeks goal to continue increasing my water intake and establish a more efficient exercise routine. I am still working on the best time for me to exercise. I now have four free places to exercise: outside walking or jogging, an exercise room at both my workplace and where I pay rent, and I have a few videos in my apartment as well. I even bought the neatest exercise 2lb. wt. balls that are purple. I like them a lot :)

Overall, I am impressed with what I've accomplished this week. I managed to complete the above and spend time with one of my friends who is also reading up on no/low carb. diets and exercising. I'm trying to continue looking forward and fight the no soda fight!!!

Take care :)

Me :)

made it 4 nights of work without pop :)
my food intake was a bit unhealthy, but i'm still psyched about not having pop, i'm still drinking sweet tea, juice, and for some reason i was craving a chocolate milk this week (i'm not a big chocolate milk fan)

1st workout for quite some time!!!

Approximately 30 minutes on the tread mill, the machine said I burned right at 130 calories and about 15 carbs. I don't know how accurate it is but I know for certain whatever it was met the 30 minute mark. I then toyed with a weight machine and an incline bench. With the bench, I completed 40 crunches, but it felt more like I was going through the motions.

Even so, the fact I made it back out of the apartment after coming home from work is an amazing feat in itself. I also put in a 15 minute walk to and back from where I worked out, making my walk time approximately 1 hour!!! Go Me !!!

Minimizing the soda intake!!!

I'm pretty excited. I've made it through two nights of work without drinking a pop. I believe my last one was Sunday. I'm trying to get through two more nights without it. My eating is hit and miss. I just finished sushi and plan on taking the rest of it to work tonight, along with some celery and carrots.

My goal for the rest of the week:

Minimize soda intake.

My Objective for getting it done:

Keep a bottle of water near
Get plenty of sleep
Drink the Walmart GV sugar-free flavored water drinks. Right now I'm enjoying the Cherry-Pomegranate flavor :)

Next week I may brave decreasing my sweets. I'm kind of trying this week. I'm doing o.k. at it, but I'm not consciously telling myself no from them.

Photo above taken July 2010 of my mother's flowers.
They are Pixie Lilies I bought and planted at a house I used to live in with my friends. We had six by the time we moved out and I gave three to my mom and three to my friend's mom. They have become more beautiful than ever and continue to grow and multiply :)

undo buttons are a must!!!

Blogger frustrates me greatly. I've been attempting a new blog for the last

20 minutes. I've accidentally deleted my pics at least three times. I'm very tired and frustrated about it. I seriously wish this had an undo button!!!! Hopefully tomorrow I will have the patience to deal with it :)

Beautiful Friday Nights

A little of what I've been up to this weekend!!!
Found the most beautiful sunset from the roof top of a parking garage.

A New Horizon

I'm very excited this morning. It's my first day off from work and one of my co-workers spent part of the night coaching me on eating healthy and working out. She wrote down some information for me in my mini-journal that I keep. I really enjoyed listening to her. We talked about how to deal with my main addictions and being able to let them go.

It feels like my circle of motivation has grown. I have a friend who is now continents away from me and she has been a true crusader in not giving up on me. For many months now, she has encouraged me to eat healthy and exercise, and she stays confident that I will start making healthy decisions.

I know the path ahead will be trying,
but I will stick it out....one step at a time.

Photos taken July 2010 @ a local park.

On the Left: This photo of me was taken December 18 2010. I believe it shows my round little cheeks.

Below officially shows where I am now with my body. It was taken February 25, 2011.

Granted, I'm standing up strait and at an angle, I still feel like I have really let myself go for far too long. In these photos I am "dolled" up for special occasions and I felt very pretty. I accept myself and my body type, but I know there is more to me and I plan on finding it again!!!

after a local college football game, my niece and her friend watching the crowd leave...i love this pic!!!

Sigh....The work week has officially begun... and the above pic is what you get after it is over.

The Process Begins

Today is my third attempt at holding a blog. I've decide to go girly the next two months and begin an exercise routine in hopes of feeling and looking great in a pretty dress. A friend of mine is getting married on 07 May 2011 and I'm going to be a bridesmaid. I'm very excited about this and now know how teenage girls going to the prom always were when they were trying to lose weight in like February and March. I've not regularly focused on exercise since Fall of 2002, my sophomore year of college, so it is very difficult to motivate myself to accomplish this task. As of now, I have not done anything to start this process and I'm already 5 days into March. I had planned on joining a small gym today but did not make it out for anything special.

With all of this being said, I also realize my diet is equally as crucial. I do not believe in the short term diets. I firmly believe in lifestyle changes and hopefully will achieve it in the long run. My number one goal is cutting back the sweets, soda, and fast food. They are my 3 major weaknesses. The second is choosing healthier meals. I love all of the healthy foods, but I struggle to plan and prepare these meals. I hope that this blog will be a way for me to track my efforts in this grand plan. Wish me the best!!!