Letting Go

All photos taken by my friend Gael in May 2010 where we grew up.

I'm doing well. I had a frustrating morning at work today, but I jogged a little b4 it got the best of me. Aside from being tired, I think the jog allowed me to process the aggravations a little better (at least that's what I'm telling myself). My job does not require me to take it home but I get so frustrated with it and then I talk about it with other people, which leads to me thinking about it and staying frustrated. It's hard for me to just turn it off and go on with my own priorities. 

 I try not to care but it's really hard to let things go. 

Also, I'm recognizing just how much these frustrations make me want to turn to food for comfort. Last night I was aggravated and I had enough money for one drink. I chose a diet Sunkist. Granted I only drank half of it and really didn't like the taste, it was my decision to choose it over water. I could have bought water, but went back to my way of thinking about being at work and wanting something to make me happy because I was there. This evening, I was still dealing with those aggravations and I found myself thinking about how much I wanted a soda, esp a ginger ale. 

I have too much of a life ahead of me to keep letting these issues determine how I fuel my body.

I mean, I made it two weeks and now I've had half of a soda I didn't really like, and, now, this evening I found myself wanting the regular sodas with my meal. It's time to get super serious about this cutting back and killing calories by exercise.  

I've been letting my mind slowly build up to this transition because I know, in my heart, I want this to be a lifestyle change that I maintain for a very long time. 

While I have gained many skills from this job, I feel like it  has essentially limited me from utilizing my fullest potential. I'm sick of it. I'm attempting to maintain the belief that letting go of the me I've become in the last 3 years will open up doors to a life in which I want to participate.

 

And I will achieve it.

No Excuses